Benchmarks & Expectations

I think that judging your life by some pre-determined societal benchmarks, concurrently with the expectations of your family, is the absolute worst thing to do to yourself. Since I’ve been in the presence of my grandmother, cousins, aunts, uncles, and basically all my relatives that I only see during the summer usually, I’ve had a heavy dose of unadulterated opinions about my trip over here. The fact of the matter is, it was a personal decision that stemmed more from a gut feeling rather than some sort of a calculated journey. It has nothing to do with hating life in the USA (one of the more ridiculous things I’ve heard). A more basic reason would be: I didn’t want to finish school, wink, and still be in the same sleepy town when I am old – seemed a bit complacent to me. So, I took it to the extreme and went across the globe.

Well, I got what I asked for and now I am in a bit of a surreal environment. Although the language is familiar, I still get déjà vu many times a day as I struggle to adapt to this parallel universe that I’ve known throughout my whole life. Everyday there is a war within me: do I continue being a courteous person or shall I become a rude bastard in order to assimilate with the public?

At the end of the day, moving abroad is something usually people do in their early 20s. I decided to do it at 31. If I would have listened to society, or my parents, I wouldn’t have even considered it. I would have stayed at my cushy house, worked a cushy job, and lives a cushy life while the calendar days stripped away. I don't know - I guess I figured it was about time to shed my mickey mouse ears. Personally, I’d rather drown a little bit in this surreal wave pool – atleast then I will be able to live a little bit and figure out who I really am.